Murder My Misery: Self-discovery through Christ.

the power of our words

{Death and live are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. Proverbs 18:21}

Words shape how we act, and many times, what happens to us comes from what we say. Words can start big changes or even conflicts—it’s up to us. The book asked me to remember a time when words hurt me. Here’s a situation I never expected:

In 2011, I was working at a doctor’s office. The doctor had two clinics—he worked at one, and the PA worked at the other. One day, another medical assistant told me she overheard the PA call me “Dike girl” while speaking to the office manager. Hearing this hurt me deeply. I wondered why a professional would think it’s okay to speak so harshly about someone behind their back. I don’t know what makes me a “dike girl” because all I did was my job, but ok. I tried so hard to befriend these people, but in the end, it didn’t matter because I was the “dike girl” and the butt of their jokes. To this day, I can’t understand what I did to deserve such treatment, and it still affects me to this day.

Side note:

Went to church last Sunday and the office manager was there… That’s when I realized I was still hurt about this situation. How do I forgive someone for something without speaking to them? I am sure that she would not remember me, let alone what they used to call me.

I can say that this situation made me a better person, as I know what it is like to be called out of name in a professional setting, and I would never want another person to feel what I felt.

So far, I have learned that I need to be more careful with my speech; even if it’s a joke or sarcasm, it has a way of staying with people. This is where my ADHD brain comes busting in like the koolaide man screaming “not today”! Ugh… I have got to master the art of thought before speech! Maybe every time I want to say something out of pocket, I need to count to five of something. Is there something you do to stop all your thoughts from just flowing out of your mouth? if so, please let me know in the comments!